Guest Blogger: Work Girl

{Scarlett here}

I have a special treat for you tonight, ladies. I'm unveiling the talents of one of my favorite people in the whole world. She goes by Work Girl. I'll let her introduce herself to you more later on, but let me just tell you that not only is she fun, smart, wise, and beautiful, she also coincidentally was born in the same town that Scout and I grew up in.  I didn't meet her till many years later when we shared an elevator ride in downtown Denver, then bonded over hot wings and cute clothes, and have been friends ever since. Here's a little something from her to get you in the holiday mood. Enjoy!

My best friend, we’ll call her Pinkie, is in a committed and delightful relationship with a young man who has amazingly managed to survive thirty-two years of life as a relatively normal guy.  He has never been married, has no major hang ups, is successful at his job, and carries no skeletons in his closet.  In fact, I am not sure he even has a closet.  Yes, he is fairly amazing, and I am so grateful he was saved for my bestie, who deserves the perfect guy like no other.  Since I am plowing forward like a freight train as a single spinster, I love to live vicariously through Pinkie and Perfect’s relationship. 

As you know, the Christmas season has budded and is about to fly into full swing.  The other day, Pinkie carelessly let slip what Perfect wanted for Christmas this year.  Apparently, she had to tease it out of him, but he finally confessed his Christmas wishlist:  an adult-sized beanbag.  With a little more coaxing, she managed to pull out of him that if she really wanted to make all his wildest dreams come true, she could throw in… a bag of socks.

I do not know if I have ever heard of a more ridiculous combination, and it got me to thinking of all the silly, silly songs about Christmas wishes.  While nothing beats asking for a bag of socks, I thought of some others that made my…

Top Five Stupid Christmas Requests

5.      Santa’s Brand New Bag.  A group called “Shedaisy” thought they’d get cute and revisit this theme with some new lyrics re-creating Santa into a cigar-smoking, Latin-dancing, limo-riding, Tinseltown-living, Socratese-reading, skinny dude who sports purple trousers.  And they want him and his big, fat kiss.  Someone shoot these women. 

4.      Santa Claus Lassoed.  I’m against wanting Santa in a brand new bag, but I’m also against wanting Santa at all.  He’s got Mrs. Claus back at home and enough to do already, leave him alone and let him get his work done.  Geez.

3.      Milk and cookies.  So, I know I’m ragging on Santa pretty hardcore, but I have to admit I’m ashamed all he could think of is a glass of milk and some lame cookies.  At least request a gingerbread house, for crying out loud.

2.      A partridge in a pear tree… and while we’re on that topic, most of the items his true love wanted make me want to throttle her.  Eight maids-a-milking… seriously?

1.      My two front teeth.  If you are a young child, and all you are thinking about is your dental health during Christmas, something is severely wrong.

On the flip side and to be fair, there have been a lot of great Christmas requests, too.  Peace on earth, joy in children’s eyes, let it snow – big fan of all these.  But, neither of my lists are comprehensive and make me wonder if you have any ridiculous Christmas requests, or any particularly great ones?  We would love it if you shared…

~ Work Girl